(-^o^-)**'~..~'**'~..~'**

(=^o^=)
Thursday, April 30, 2009

This mark a super important date for me.

Dear suddenly decided to bring me to Tiong Bahru!!

First meet his Mom, Dad & 2nd Sis...

Although just a short while, 强心针的药效是够的le.

Donno wat will be the color on my score-card wo...

期待着...

Bee scribbled @ 10:10 PM

(=^o^=)
Friday, April 24, 2009

~ 這一生中，你錯過了什麼? ~

太太在二十五歲時問丈夫，

丈夫沮喪的回答她：我錯過一個新的工作機會。

三十五歲時，

丈夫生氣的告訴她：我剛錯過了一班公車。

四十五歲時，

丈夫傷心的說：我錯過與親人見最後一面。

五十五歲時，

丈夫失望的回答：我錯過了退休的好時機。

六十五歲時，

丈夫匆匆的答說：我錯過了看牙醫的時間。

一如往常的，太太總是回以微笑，

而微笑中總帶著落寞。

七十五歲那年，太太不再問先生了，此時，先生正跪坐在病危的太太面前，想起太太每隔一段時間，總要問他的問題，他反過來問太太，而太太的微笑中帶著解脫回答：

這一生，我沒有錯過你！

此時，先生早已淚流滿面，原以為兩人可以永遠在一起，所以，終日忙著工作與繁瑣的事，卻從不曾用心體貼朝夕相處的另一半，先生緊抱著太太說：

這輩子，我錯過妳五十年來的深情……

繁忙的都市裡，有著許多為工作打拚的人，大家總習慣於把工作當成生活的重心，為了滿足社會的價值，不惜出賣自己的時間與身體，捨不得多花時間投資健康，以至於錯過了陪同孩子成長的機會、忽略了身旁關心自己的親友、輕忽了自己的身體。

珍惜，果真要在錯過後才能感受？沒有人知道明年今日會怎麼.. 人世無常，趕緊把握當下，把心中的感激告訴愛你的人、用行動關心你的家人，把每一天都當成人生的最後一段，即使走了，也能讓自己及身旁的人了無遺憾。

一些事对你而言可能是小事，不重要，无所谓；

但对另一个人而言却是超在意的..

我想我或許也有錯過了些什麼但是要珍惜已擁有的更重要.

希望你也能在失去前；

把握好每一刻，珍惜好每一秒.

Bee scribbled @ 9:22 AM

(=^o^=)
Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Another meaning short story to share.
Enjoy & think about it k...

~ 尘世中的净土 ~

记得有一次看周星驰施主的片子「大内密探○○八」（编按：台湾叫做「大内密探零零发」），中间有一段品酒的部分，让人记忆深刻：有位女施主拿了一杯葡萄酒让很多人品尝，大部分人都把酒一饮而尽，结果大家都说，这个葡萄酒又酸又涩，实在不好喝。

好像周星驰施主是这麽说的，这是一杯好酒，只是有人品的方法不对。舌头上品味酸涩的味蕾在两侧，而甜味的味蕾在舌尖部位，想品尝好的葡萄酒，就要把舌头卷起来，只有舌尖的味蕾品到甜味，避开两侧味蕾品到的酸味。

生活其实是同样的道理，我们也要学会剥离掉酸涩的部分，去体会香甜的感觉。

茅山的山路很窄小，由一些小青石板拼接而成。这些石板也不知道是什麽年代的，从没有人负责修葺，有些路段石板已经变成碎石，不太好走了。

那夜一场豪雨，茅山的山路被雨水浸泡後，变得很泥泞，踩上一脚便把石头下面的泥水带了出来。

在上次讲故事的时候，智缘师父曾经告诉大家，第二天他会在寺里讲故事，所以即使山路很不好走，还是有不少施主赶到了寺院。

这样的路程，每个人的鞋子上都难免沾著不少泥土，进寺的人进门前都会在门旁的石块上把脚踏乾净。但这样做，依然不能彻底，只是一小会儿，戒嗔就发现寺前院的水泥地已经满是泥块了。戒嗔叹气道，看来下次是不是应当放个刷子在门前，这样可以把施主的鞋子弄乾净些，可以避免弄髒院子，也不会影响别的施主了。

戒嗔听见有人在笑，转头去看，原来是智缘师父，他不知道什麽时候到了戒嗔身後。

师父从旁边走过，迈进满是泥水的小院，他小心的走著，每一步都踏在院子中乾净的地方。走到佛堂前的师父转过身对我说，「戒嗔你看，泥水虽然多，但是这样走就不会污染到鞋子了。」

我们生活在尘世中，哪有那麽多净土？总要学会自己找个乾净的地方落脚。

泥土再多又怎麽样？尘世间再多纷乱又怎麽样？总有单纯乾净的所在。落足泥水中，还是乾净的水泥地上，选择权最终在你自己手中。

学会在点缀著泥土的院落中跳跃，也是相当重要的。

让眼神穿过薄雾落在笑脸上，何必在意有雾障目，阳光出来後，它就不存在了。

Bee scribbled @ 2:29 PM

(=^o^=)

1) Ugly leg in half-pain mode... Added with itchy problem...

2) Coming 3mths le & I'm still in nothing-koo-koo state @ AMK HQ... most of my time spent on web browsing while listening to few songs from a CD over & over again...

Yesterday, the rightful owner of my desk has came back from her 3mth BB leave.... I'm suddenly 无家可归 & boss drag till very last minute b4 giving green-light to move me into a empty de manager room. Never ever have a office all to myself b4 lor, damn shiok i can say... my internet explorers no more in small window size, ji-tao can open big big liao!!

Try to bring DVD but too bad the old labtop don support.

Wahahaa!!!

Now is hope i can stay in this shiok room all the way till is time for me to fly out to where i should belong...

(^p^)v

====================================

Bored me came across this while 'floating' around the net, a bit bit worried & find it worth sharing...

好深奥的学问sia...

Below is how the write-up goes :

Question: Are you in a relationship where your boyfriend tells you he loves you, seems to enjoy spending time with you, and everything is good EXCEPT that he's making no move to commit to you?

Does he withdraw or become distant whenever the issue of "taking the next step" comes up? I get tons of emails every month from women in the exact same situation.

The good news is there are specific reasons a man will decide to commit himself to one woman.

Have you ever noticed that the more you try toget close to a man and improve your relationship... the more DISTANT and withdrawn he'll become?

Well, recently I received an email from a woman who shared her story about this. I think you'll feel for her and relate to the struggle that she's facing. That's why I've devoted today's newsletter to teaching you:

-why men can grow more distant the more you try toget closer to them-the mistakes most women make when trying to bringmen closer

-what REALLY works in creating a lasting andcommitted relationship with a man, and whatdoesn't

-how a man becomes truly committed to a woman on aphysical AND emotional level

So here we go...

***QUESTION FROM A READER***

I recently met guy and we started dating. From our first date he was very forward with me (kissing,touching, etc) and I was the reserved one untilthe third date or so ( I hadn't had that much experience with men). After a few weeks when he realized I started having "feelings" for him he decided that he wasn't the right one for me. He said he has never been in love with anyone before and it is better to break up with me now than in six months time.Is he scared of getting hurt again? (his previous relationship ended after six months and she broke it off about this time last year)It came out of the blue for me as he seemed very attracted to me physically and that we had a lot in common. I put it down to him being under a lot of pressure due to his personal circumstances (he even admitted that). We talked it over and said he liked me and felt attracted to me but it was up to me to decide what I wanted to do about it.As we met to discuss the situation it was like we never discussed not to continue the relationship as he was very physical again. I didn't stop him as I was very attracted to him but drew the line at sex at that time. After a few more weeks have passed things seemed to have be fine again but we have since broken up and he has decided that we should be friends. I told him I don't know how to be friends with an ex as I have never gone through this situation. Why did he suggest this? Does he still want to be involved in my life?He said there isn't anyone else in his life and I believe him as he doesn't have the opportunity to meet women. We have seen each other as friends twice since the decision was made and we got very close physically especially the second time. I realize this was a mistake you don't need to tell me that.I asked him about his reasons for stopping the relationship but he said it is a mix of things on his side and mine and not to discuss it again. I am not saying I want him back as I don't want to convince someone to be with me. I just don't understand his reasoning behind staying friends. I think we were together because we were both lonely at the time and connected through some very similar circumstances. Should I let this go or give him time? I can't wait forever.I am very confused about my feelings. Thanks for reading my e-mail."

***MY COMMENTS***

Ouch. I know your situation is endlessly frustrating and seems impossible to understand... as I've seen TONS of women go through or tell me about a verys imilar experience with a man. Why is it that men will act distant with you to the point where a break up happens... only to come back and act affectionate for a little while, and THEN go back to being distant and uncertain?

After he pursues you physically and you start getting comfortable and open up your feelings again, he starts back-pedaling. And he tells you things like, "you are putting too much pressure on me". "Let's just be friends." "Things are moving too fast." Or he doesn't say anything at all. He just calls less, or stops calling altogether.

And when you try to talk about it, he reacts like you're laying some guilt trip or some heavy burden on him... and he backs off even further. What's happening here? Why do so many men do this?

To explain why this is with men, let me ask youa question... When you are feeling upset about something, do you call up close girlfriends to talk it over and work out the best thing to do? If you're like most women, you often do this. Now ask yourself... How many MEN do you know call up their close guy friends to share their feelings and get advice for what's going on in their life and relationships? Not many.

It's just not part of the way they deal with emotions and relationships in their lives. Most men spend less time "analyzing" all the specifics in their relationships... and they generally have a more personal and internal way of dealing with or "processing" their feelings. (Yes,men do have feelings after all.)

But in case you haven't noticed, men don't feel better or clearer after "analyzing" a situation the way women do. In fact, often times, doing so can actually make a man feel "drained" instead. I think deep down somewhere you recognize this.Part of you knows men are different in this way.But another part of you fears or resents this because it can make a man seem "unengaged" or shutoff from his feelings. And that can spell BAD NEWS for women in relationships where they feel UNCERTAIN.

Here's my point... Considering all this about how men and women can be different, how do you think a man is going to react when a woman isn't happy with the way a relationship is going and wants to talk or analyze why he's not "feeling it" for her? He'll probably respond negatively, get irritated, or just shut down altogether.

Arggggh! Frustrating, right?

Let me quickly cut to the chase about what's going on here...

There are about 50 things I could tell you about how your man is at fault and creates these problems for himself and for you in yourrelationship. But that's not going to help you learn anything about YOURSELF. You could spend days, weeks, months or years worrying about a man, what he thinks, and why he does the things he does. But if you want to be smart... And you want relationships to start "working"for you, then you'll make sure you have things handled for yourself first. And that way you'll have the CERTAINTY that only comes from understanding what's happening in the relationship around you... and what YOU need to do in each situation that comes up with a man,especially in a case like this where you are dealing with an "Emotionally Unavailable" man.

The "Emotionally Unavailable" man is a man who has one foot out the door. One moment he may be ready to step into the boat with you... he wants to be with you... he wants to spend all his time with you... and it seems as though he is ready to start on a beautiful journey with both of you together. Then he stops dead in his tracks and starts thinking about that boat on the pier. That's solid land. Land he knows how to navigate.

Maybe he's never been on the boat before or maybe he doesn't think he has a "map" in order to truly understand where the boat is going. What if their boat hits a rock? What if they get lost ontheir journey? (like his comment about "neverhaving been in love before") Maybe stepping back on solid ground that he is familiar with is the only option he sees. And so he tells you, "I think we should just be friends." One of the most common, frustrating and destructive things these men do with women in relationships is pull away or completely withdraw emotionally. If you've ever had this happen and it dragged on, even just for a few hours or days, then you know it can feel like a slow "emotional death."

Well, there's something that lots of women don't recognize that I want to share with you... It's that when it comes to emotional withdrawal and distance in a relationship, most men DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND what it is they're doing... and why it would be such a problem for their relationship.

Ok, let me repeat that. Some men just plain DON'T GET IT. And more to the point, don't want to. Got it?

Now, why am I telling you this? Because lots of women get upset and try to analyze the situation with a man to death, trying to get all kinds of "meaning" from what he tells them and looking for the deeper reason behind his distance. When in fact, the truth is that lots of men don't appreciate how important sharing feelings,emotions, and experiences are to a relationship,and to a woman.

(Duh!)

So when a great woman comes along that he could have an amazing time with and get close to... And she starts noticing that he isn't as"involved" emotionally... Instead of identifying these for what they are (part of his natural "masculine" tendency to pull away and focus in a less emotionally involved way)she feels rejected, unappreciated or deadened by it.

Men who are emotionally unavailable think of themselves as "easygoing" and "laid back".

Not "detached" or "distant".

They'll say things like:

"It's better if we don't talk about it."

Or...

"Why do you nag me about this stuff?"

Or...

"Don't worry about it so much?"

Sound familiar?

So what's a woman to do with a man who thinks or talks this way?

Accept that he'll never open up and share with her?

Resign herself to a life and a relationship without real love and connection?

Dump him and move on?

Well, what I can tell you is that as much as men are different, a man MUST BE willing to be part of the learning process that IS a relationship for love to grow and last.

Translation - if he's open to learning and growth in some way, then he's not a lost cause. Which is why I've got two important questions for you-

Question #1. How open to learning and growth isthe man in your life?

This is an important question to consider when you're thinking about the kind of relationship you REALLY and truly want, and if the man you're interested in is open and willing to have that. The man you choose can help make all thedifference for you.

Question #2. How open are YOU to the idea that YOUR OWN words and behavior often result in a man becoming LESS OPEN to learning and growth with you?

All healthy, mature people in relationships learn to take responsibility for their part in how their partner responds. As much as men might be less "emotionally involved", tons of women are blinded to the fact that they create more of the situation they fear most in their relationship - having a man shutoff.

It would be a good idea to take a minute and look at YOUR PART in all of this, and the way you communicate. Like, being ok with getting physical one day,then being upset that it didn't "mean" what you wanted it to mean the next day. You see what I'm getting at here? But what if you knew about how COMMITMENT really works inside a man's mind and heart... and you had a "map" to get you BOTH to a deeply committed place together in your relationship,without coming up against the resistance some men put up when they tell you they "aren't ready","don't want to hurt you" or "just want to befriends" (when it's clear that they are physically attracted to you)? Would a "map" like this help you feel more comfortable, guide you smoothly through what was coming next with a man, and help you grow CLOSER in your relationship?

There is a common mistake women make with men they want to be in a close, connected relationship with. They wait until things are difficult and intense to try and have the real conversations about who they are, what they want, and where things are going. And they find out too late where a man is really at, and where he's really coming from.

It's CRITICAL to learn to understand a man for who he is and what his patterns, fears, and hang-ups are so that you can either address them and move ahead to a deeper level of understanding and commitment... Or you can be clear about the fact that he needs to deal with these for himself BEFORE you give him more of your time and energy.

Identifying what kind of "resistance" you're going to have in your relationship before it comes up is what's going to help you create the situation you've always known is possible in your love life... and make it LAST.

Of course, once you start to put together the puzzle pieces and raise your AWARENESS about your relationship and the man you're with... from there you still need to know how to grow closer and become more committed over time... instead of growing apart like so many couples end up doing.

There are LOTS of different levels of commitment, and monogamy is just one of them. Committing to honesty is another. And committing to an emotionally close and intimate relationship regardless of external events is yet another. But in order for commitment to last, you need to build it over time, in a natural way that will feel good for you AND for a man too. Unfortunately, when it comes to a LASTING COMMITMENT, this uncertain, chaotic, "take-it-as-it-comes" approach ends up failing a majority of the time.

Bee scribbled @ 1:35 PM

(=^o^=)
Saturday, April 18, 2009

Buffet dinner @ here.

So happened tat this photo was taken from our seated area.

Eat till nearly peng-san lor.

Another un-forgettable night........

(^___^")

Bee scribbled @ 10:03 PM

(=^o^=)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009

New little thingy for his car...

Buy them for quite some time but only got the time to complete them when he go chiong w/o me...

hahaa... ;p

awaiting for a 良辰吉日now... must go buy hook lo...

一眨眼nia, 2 mths already...

(60th Days, 37th 面s)

(^_*)v

3rd mth should be here real soon b4 we realise....

----------------------------------------------------------------

Had a damn heavy fall yesterday night.

捡了好大一个“红包”

Never ever encounter such high pain level on my body before lor.. will tears de lor...

Super duper angry w myself!!!!

grrrrr....

Bee scribbled @ 10:01 PM

(=^o^=)
Saturday, April 11, 2009

His first visit to kampong where super shy he first meet

my 外公外婆, 小姨 & 二舅.

Really hope there are more of these trips.

(^p^")

Was a damn hot day & i think the most 可怜 one is his car... hahaaa...

first is 'suspension' pain pain while approaching the old house deep in kampong...

then its 1 week old nia de new tire's "rim" (donno how to spell tat word leh =x) damaged after hitting a super big black hole on MY's lok-kock road when heading back...

Scary-cat me was guilty & 担心 back then as Dear need to spend big money again le AND sort of due to me lor...

kekee... felt he is sort of not tat smooth after meeting 倒霉蛋me leh..

(^x^")

-----------------------------------------------------

After investing 2 full mth, his car nos finally come out le.

peew... heheheee...

everything not tat costly now le.

v(*_^)

Bee scribbled @ 10:04 PM

(=^o^=)
Friday, April 03, 2009

一时兴起, decided to fried egg for him to go with dinner once again.

Did it all by myself this time round rejecting all helps from mom AND best of all, added in yummy cheese sausage & the pair of end product are in pretty heart shape k.

I is 几骄傲一下.. =x

He commented too thick leh... but too bad lor, his Dear is Pte Ltd one... Never end up with a black egg is 谢天谢地liao..

Wahahahahaa!!!!!

(^.*)v

Forgotten to take a photoof it after the HOT hard work (The pic is the tool used to make the 爱心菜).... so sad... But the look of it should be burnt in mind de bah??

I sure will. hahaa...

(^_*")

Bee scribbled @ 1:02 PM

(=^o^=)
Thursday, April 02, 2009

~ 给老人一个帮忙的机会 ~
Something I just finish reading from the 普觉电子周刊.

Find it nice & good to share... Enjoy sia...

^_*v

同事小王最近将母亲从乡下接到城里来住。老母亲高高兴兴地来了，小王和能干又贤惠的妻子将一切都安排得熨熨贴贴，根本不要老人家操什么心，照大家的说法那真是坐享清福。没想到住了不到一个月，老人家说什么也不肯呆下去了，非要回乡下去不可。小王夫妇大惑不解，老母亲说： “ 我一个老太婆什么也帮不上你们，尽吃现成的，还不如回去帮你哥嫂做点零碎事情。 ” 小王哭笑不得，老人家辛辛苦苦了一辈子，哪还要她帮衬着做什么啊！再说这城里现代化的科技产品多的是，也用不着多少手工活。

邻居大刘看在眼里，赶忙拉过小王说： “ 我教你一个办法，包准你母亲就不会闹着走人了。 ” 如此这般一番交代之后，小王半信半疑。当晚他找出一条好久不穿的毛衣对母亲说： “ 妈，有空时你帮我改改，我穿着腋下紧了点。 ” 妻子赶忙抢着说自己来改就是，小王使个眼色，说： “ 你哪有妈了解我啊，小时候哪件毛衣不是妈一针一线帮我织的？ ” 母亲脸上绽开了笑容，说： “ 就是啊，看你都是什么身材啊，好好的毛衣买来还穿不合身！呵呵！ ” 当晚她就找出老花镜，细心地给儿子改起毛衣来。

此后，小王总是恰到好处地给母亲添点 “ 麻烦 ” ，比如补衣服扣子啦，接孩子回家来，辨别一下菜市场的小菜是不是新鲜啦，熨一下领带啦什么的。而且生活上的事情儿媳妇也经常来找她拿主意了，比如孩子长痱子怎么办，炒牛肉放什么佐料之类。慢慢地，母亲越来越开朗起来，说话的声音似乎也提高了几度。有时候瞅着家里没人，还自顾自地学着唱流行歌曲呢，也再没提回乡下去住的话。

小王好奇地问大刘： “ 你怎么就知道我妈妈吃这一套啊？ ” 大刘呵呵地笑起来： “ 不是你妈妈吃这一套，所有的老人都吃这一套。你想想，一个劳作惯了的老人家，你一下子什么都不让她做，她下意识会觉得自己是个吃闲饭的多余人，感觉这也不自在那也不相干。再说，让老人家帮帮忙，其实就是对她经验、能力的肯定和尊重，也算是一种精神上的孝顺啊！ ”

大刘的一番话让我也豁然开朗，想到自己以前总喜欢在父母面前大包大揽，事实上正是剥夺了老人们 “ 显身手 ” 的机会。做晚辈的有时候主动在老人们面前 “ 示弱 ” ，让老人家亲自动手做点强度不大的事情或者帮着出出主意，不仅仅是为了哄他们开心，更可以帮助他们发掘自我价值、提高社会自信。想到这里，此前一直不让父母给我寄任何东西的我马上打电话给乡下的父母，说是想吃点他们亲手种的花生。母亲果然无比开心，当即催促父亲去邮局。此后，我有事没事就打电话回去，甚至小到炸鱼时姜先放还是后放我都要特意问问老爸老妈，尽管妻子早就从网上查到了标准答案。过年回家时，我还会就工作上的事情找父亲帮忙拿个主意。看着他那得意的神态，我知道也许这就是对他最好的孝顺。

岳父做文字工作出身，喜欢找我聊点写作的话题。但以他那一辈人的文学视野，最多也就谈谈《林海雪原》之类的作品。此前我虽然也老老实实地听着，心里却多少有些不以为然。自从明白了要适当给老人一个帮助自己的机会这个道理后，我开始投其所好，主动向岳父汇报自己的写作计划。我甚至故意将自己的文章留几个错别字，等着岳父帮着指出来。能够帮身为 “ 知名作家 ” 的女婿改文章，岳父显得格外开心，每次都戴上老花眼镜，毫不客气地逐字逐句修改起来。我原本只是为了让他高兴高兴，没想到因此居然还有了意外的收获：岳父不仅帮我修改了一些语病，有时还能提出很有见地的意见和建议。这下子，我由假请教变成了真请教。看着经过他修改的文章得以发表甚至获奖，岳父比什么都开心，自然，一家人也都因为他的开心而开心起来。而我更实实在在从中获得了教益。

我想，让老人有一些给子女 “ 帮忙 ” 的机会，也应该是孝顺的一个必要组成部分吧。。。。。

~ The End ~

Bee scribbled @ 3:37 PM

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