Hallo-Hi,
I'm Meilan;
also known as Ah Bee in CC or Ke Ai in McD..
Being a Singapore's pisces borned in year of wooden tiger, I'm born with almost all the typical characteristics of the two
( Of cause not ALL, thus please filter away all the negative one ok. ;p )
Overall, I think I'm generally a "warm-enough" person to be with; unless U R someone whom have ever hurt this
xiao(3) qi(4) fish..
(=^o^=)
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~~ U've missed ~~
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(=^o^=)
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
~ '放生'记 ~ is super sad for me de... is super 丢脸 for me too... but decided to blog & releasing a bit of this hoping i don have to repeat my pain & sobs; again & again... As u know, i got into temple w/o the right skill set but i still got hopes within me with a partner & boss whom understand the situation & willing to train me up... until one fine day...Forgotten when - boss suddenly told 小师兄 & me tat he resign le & leaving us in few days time.. this jit tao worry me liao lor... come to think of it, hints already started but only 迟屯 me never get it...26/8 – This is the first opened ‘天窗’. In a session while boss brief us about task handling after he left, the friendly senior sudden change attitude & ask me directly : do u have any plan after boss go? Do u consider if this job really suit u? R u able to handle situation after leaving of boss?? I jit tao is caught by surprised but told her I don dare to make any guarantee but I like the job & will try my best de. After the session, told boss straight that Im worried but he encouraged me, hope I stay & give myself more time to learnt. Im grateful w this.
After tat faithful day, I suddenly feel stressed to be alone w this senior as she will ask me things like how? got any plan & conclusion? Why I never think of doing application as it suits lady more? But in the first place, I already stated clear clear tat I would like to try le… :( Somehow I just can feel tat the application people is ‘spying’ & ‘targeting’ on me le.. this situation also 拖小师兄下水too lor... 害 him suddenly ga-na spied too lor... make me damn guilty... I almost 窒息 by this funny situation =( 29/8 – while boss on leave, 'friendly' senior suddenly call me for a private talk... again ask those questions if I got plan & any new decision la... I know wat she is aiming by now but I just 不舍得 to release my grab lor... told her I really like here & hope to stay & try and would like to take up courses if needed la... think she bo bian by my ans... told me that she will want to extend my probation as she will have to be responsible before new boss come & will update new boss about me w/o any 'hiding' ... my ans 竟然 is a 'OK'... by this time I really feel damn hurt le... I feel myself like so thick skin, 怎么赶都赶不走tat kind leh... ;( 01/9 – Normal people should stop here le right? But it did not lor... I need to go to an offsite for some s/w installation & this senior suddenly offered to go w me... I don wan de but how to reject? Bo bian lor... as usual while on the way there, same kind of questions & suggestions for me to switch job is being thrown to me... is put in such a way tat she is worrying for me la... but her intention is clear de.. In the end just b/4 reaching our destination, I buay ta-han by the non-stop conversions & ask her straight “你是不是希望我走?” the ans I got is she hope to change to someone she know confirm can do this job better de...
Although already know the ans butDamn hurt lor!!!!Almost got 内伤 while trying to stop the sobs... 02/9 – Came to a final decision after thinking about my situation for whole night that I'm giving up as no point staying in a place where u know the people is so 嫌弃 u & their biggest wish is wan u to go (on top of tat bad egg who i all along got problem w)...
at first still got a bit moved by boss after talking to him... of cause he is surprised when know wat has been happening to me la... but wat can he do?? Bo bian liao le… he gave me lot of encouragement's & actually walk out of the room saying loud loud tat ‘我是不会收你的信的’.. hahaa... find this act so warm & cute... but in the end 没用de me still decided to continue w my decision after 2 wars w application people happening within tat short 0.5 day... 其实回想这一切都因自己没有用哪能怪谁与谁呢~_~--------------------------------------------------------
The short short 1-2 torturing weeks seem so long for me... 心情jit tao is跌到谷底 tat kind... this is the first time I feel so hurt & left a company when I’m totally not ready to do so, I is still lub the place one... but damn helpless... my only 安慰 during this down period is only 小师兄 whom is always behind me to give me helps, advises & supports... feel so guilty when all his effort wasted with my letter throwing =(
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