Hallo-Hi,
I'm Meilan;
also known as Ah Bee in CC or Ke Ai in McD..
Being a Singapore's pisces borned in year of wooden tiger, I'm born with almost all the typical characteristics of the two
( Of cause not ALL, thus please filter away all the negative one ok. ;p )
Overall, I think I'm generally a "warm-enough" person to be with; unless U R someone whom have ever hurt this
xiao(3) qi(4) fish..
(=^o^=)
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苦谛: 三苦:
(=^o^=)
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I know got few of u lub personal test too de..Someone introduce it to me & i find it quite good wo... go try & see we same same boh k ;p :
http://www.humanmetrics.com/Jung Typology Test:
I ish an ISFP out of a total of sixteen types leh...donno is consider good or bad la but i find it quite accurate for me leh =xIntrovert has a source of energy mainly in the internal world. Sensing means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives directly from the external world. Feeling means that he or she makes a decision based on emotion. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and seek alternatives. Jung Career Indicator:
It supposed to determines careers most suitable for our type. A bit shocked.. hmm.. seem tat my mind is much clearer when i'm young young time leh... Social Service : Child Day Care Management, Early Childhood Education ==> this is actually my 小时候的志愿 leh.. (^.^) Customer Service : Customer Service Specialist==> still remember how i ended up in IT line??
(^x^) Art/Design : Design Graphic, Industrial, Interior, Artist, Animator, Fashion Designer==> this is far a bit la... like to 做手工 count boh?(^_^)Risk Indicator:
When i see the result, i actually laugh out wo... no wonder i keep getting myself into troubles one..(^___^") -------------------------------------------------------------Nice clips tat i lost for years le..yuan lai can be found on tube de..a bit diff version but still as nice :)
(Click 'x' icon on title bar to stop background music)
-------------------------------------------------------------After a long 3 mth & 6 days break from my 踩车 routine, i went just now... hahahaaa... instructor jit tao is laugh at me say my hand leg sure all rusty liao leh... indeed wo.. originally not very good de hand-leg coordination, today jit tao is 没眼看... car jumps la, engine complaints & die la, too fast turns, too slow turns..poor instructor sure is sweating & sheaking head de... no dare look @ him.. damn pai-say...(^_____^"")
(=^o^=)
ok... i 自首ed...
finally can put down the little stone after it '卡'there for so many hours..
心情几漂亮 now.
kakakaaa!!
(^_*)v
(=^o^=)
Monday, September 22, 2008
Got a little so bored in the late afternoon that i suddenly wanna do some research on what is the meaning of a friend's mns nick... find it special... however blur blur me never get the meaning i intend to find but instead, i hit into this person's blog...
At first i was attached to this pretty picture of a white bird & find the wording so meaningful... reading on then surprise me tat it is my friend's blog... 不乖的 me thus start reading... usually i'm those lazy type that cannot read all words for long if no pic or cartoons for me to 'rest' de.. but this one i is totally hooked. Once started, i cannot stop liao... every line, every entry is so meaningful, somehow it just touched my heart & make me wanna read more. i even feel so pain till i sob for few of the old old entries... Spent few hours on this blog but yet to finish even half the entries... as i read, half cannot stop reading, half worry wat will happen if this person know i intruded without permission... should i 自首???^.^-------------------------------------------------------------Suddenly realise i... 年纪一大把 le but my 思想 is just like a little kids, like never grow as my age grows... 几幼稚... what am i been doing at the same age (even till now) while other are blogging all those??惭愧 till cannot... but how to catch up?
(=^o^=)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
This was given to me sometime back, by 师兄...like it on first look, mostly due to its pretty colour & nice pattern behind...partly is bcoz of its original owner... As for the wording, i thought it is just another meaning 'lines'... till today then i understand it more... Went to my 2nd YM talk @ temple.Topic : 4 Gratitude in Buddhism (四重恩) Although the talk is mostly in english de but i can only remember better for few in chinese...四重恩 父母恩/师长恩，国家恩，众生恩， 三宝恩Of all the 4 category, the one tat gave me highest impact & make me spent quite sometime to digest de is '师长恩'. In this pointer, not only those who teach & pain u de are consider as your teacher... those bad-egg who bully u in any way or create problem for u de is also a teacher to u too. U must thanks them also de. Actually quite true leh, although they make u damn sad & unhappy but u learnt too... from your wrong-doing parts.. especially u will learnt that DON'T ever act/do the same to other people around u as they will be in same ground as u r now too lor..this is so called 反面教材. Although i fail to do this la, but the correct way to handle this teacher is simply:- don fight back & make situation worst- don spoilt the relation w this person- just accept & face the lesson w peace, learnt from your mistake. If really cannot accept their view, just listen, just take note but don follow/act if u really feel is not right -----------------------------------------------------------Beginning to like this meaningfull sessions but i still a bit cannot get use to the before session starts & super afraid of the discussion section w strangers at the end of the session (i actually run away in my both sessions when reaches this timing =x) Like is one thing la, i don wan to be lonely there wo..Anyone interested to go w me next time??just pure listen to meaningful talk nia.. thus u don worry got any religious sai-ko stress or wat de :)i'll leave w u if u don feel comfortable @ any time. Session is on bi-weekly de sunday.(^_*)v
(=^o^=)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
This is something i keep hearing... share share w u...
苦谛：根據對現實的深刻觀察，佛總結出人生的八大痛苦：生、老、病、死、愛別離、怨憎會、求不得、五陰熾盛。這就是“苦諦”。说明世间有情悉皆是苦，即所谓有漏皆苦
佛教對於感受的一種解釋，把感受分為自己討厭的，喜歡的，既不討厭也不喜歡的事物看成是“苦苦”、“壞苦”和“行苦”，最後可以導致“受是苦”的結論。
苦苦(Suffering of Pain) : 由嗔心造業，招致苦果(惡業)的感受。如寒冷、燥熱、飢餓、疼痛如此等不悅的感受。
壞苦(Suffering of Change): 由貪心造業，招致善果(福業)的感受。如快樂、飽足、成功、情人見面如此等舒服的感受，終會因為消失壞去而傷心，或是慢慢變成了痛苦的原因，故稱壞苦。
行苦(Pervasive Suffering): 由癡心造業，招致不苦不樂的感受。如無聊，無趣，這種沒有感覺的感受，雖然現在不是痛苦，但是因為時間流逝，將會招致其他的痛苦，故稱行苦。而行苦也是所有有為法的特性。八苦:生苦， 老苦， 病苦， 死苦， 爱别离苦，怨憎恚苦， 求不得苦， 五蕴炽盛苦。
其中五蕴为
“色”、 “受”、“想”、 “行”、 “识”
五蕴炽盛实为其余七苦的根源。梵文（Dukkha），汉传佛教一般译为“苦”，或者“苦谛”，从梵文语义学上来说，是表示“不安的”，“心神不宁”的意思。可对应为现代描述的“痛苦”、“悲伤”、“焦虑”、“不满”、“沮丧”等感情。
(=^o^=)
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
故事分享：猴子与井底月光
从前，古印度波罗奈城外的森林裏，住著五百只猴子。有一天，牠们正在来回遊戏时，走到一株果树下，发现有口井。向下面探视时，水裏竟呈现月影。猴王见了月影，就对同伴们说：
「月亮死了，才掉到井裏。如果把它捞起来，不就能消除世上的黑暗吗？」
其他猴子问：
「我们赞成，但要怎样把它捞起来呢？」
「我有办法打捞。待我先抓紧这棵树枝，你们个子最大的再抓紧我的尾巴。接著，大个子一个接一个地抓紧尾巴，一直朝井底落下，最後的同伴才把月亮捞起来。」
「果然妙计。」
猴王攀上树枝，让尾巴垂下，其他猴子接二连三倣放牠垂下尾巴。最後那只猴子伸手在水中捞月时，由於全体重量太重，竟将树枝折断了。五百集猴子撲通一声，全都落到水裏。
片刻後，树神哈哈大笑，唱出一首歌说：
「林裏的猴群啊！你们聚集在吵嚷，
没有自知自明，竟想拯救世间。」 《摩诃僧祇律第七》
猴子的救世雄心固然可嘉，但由于智慧不足，纵然万般辛劳，却始终徒劳无功。但愿世人都能成就悲智圆满，让天上皎白的明月，能在每个人的心中圆满的映现。“千江有水 千江月，万里无云 万里天”。 ------------------------------------------------------Last piece of meaningful mail i forward from temple.
(=^o^=)
Monday, September 15, 2008
Find this very pretty & 庄严... Listen to this nice one : BRBRMDXinJing
不得不信... really is 风平浪静 aft tat...虽然有点 '为时已晚'...还是非常感激的... 确实已经雪中送炭了...
Both our very first self-cram de Cat5 wires & Little gift exchanging... 
Some reading goodies i got from temple...
常踩的走道...
我们的 '四方式'...
多么漂亮的一个地方啊... 还有好些角落是我没踩过的...陪我走完DPD's最后一段路的唯有小师兄了...好感动，好感激.Going through these pic w my background musiccause me to feel 鼻酸...sob.. sob... 可能真的是菩萨在怪我不够诚心...--------------------------------------------------------------------迷路-ing…88の缘分瞬间快速结下，也在几乎没心理准备时, 画下了句号. 以为两个礼拜后已经好了.. 原来还没放下, 还超难过,超疼... 伤口是 '一触即发'... 碰不得 yet...
Cry BB is current me...
(=^o^=)
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
~ '放生'记 ~ is super sad for me de... is super 丢脸 for me too... but decided to blog & releasing a bit of this hoping i don have to repeat my pain & sobs; again & again... As u know, i got into temple w/o the right skill set but i still got hopes within me with a partner & boss whom understand the situation & willing to train me up... until one fine day...Forgotten when - boss suddenly told 小师兄 & me tat he resign le & leaving us in few days time.. this jit tao worry me liao lor... come to think of it, hints already started but only 迟屯 me never get it...26/8 – This is the first opened ‘天窗’. In a session while boss brief us about task handling after he left, the friendly senior sudden change attitude & ask me directly : do u have any plan after boss go? Do u consider if this job really suit u? R u able to handle situation after leaving of boss?? I jit tao is caught by surprised but told her I don dare to make any guarantee but I like the job & will try my best de. After the session, told boss straight that Im worried but he encouraged me, hope I stay & give myself more time to learnt. Im grateful w this.
After tat faithful day, I suddenly feel stressed to be alone w this senior as she will ask me things like how? got any plan & conclusion? Why I never think of doing application as it suits lady more? But in the first place, I already stated clear clear tat I would like to try le… :( Somehow I just can feel tat the application people is ‘spying’ & ‘targeting’ on me le.. this situation also 拖小师兄下水too lor... 害 him suddenly ga-na spied too lor... make me damn guilty... I almost 窒息 by this funny situation =( 29/8 – while boss on leave, 'friendly' senior suddenly call me for a private talk... again ask those questions if I got plan & any new decision la... I know wat she is aiming by now but I just 不舍得 to release my grab lor... told her I really like here & hope to stay & try and would like to take up courses if needed la... think she bo bian by my ans... told me that she will want to extend my probation as she will have to be responsible before new boss come & will update new boss about me w/o any 'hiding' ... my ans 竟然 is a 'OK'... by this time I really feel damn hurt le... I feel myself like so thick skin, 怎么赶都赶不走tat kind leh... ;( 01/9 – Normal people should stop here le right? But it did not lor... I need to go to an offsite for some s/w installation & this senior suddenly offered to go w me... I don wan de but how to reject? Bo bian lor... as usual while on the way there, same kind of questions & suggestions for me to switch job is being thrown to me... is put in such a way tat she is worrying for me la... but her intention is clear de.. In the end just b/4 reaching our destination, I buay ta-han by the non-stop conversions & ask her straight “你是不是希望我走?” the ans I got is she hope to change to someone she know confirm can do this job better de...
Although already know the ans butDamn hurt lor!!!!Almost got 内伤 while trying to stop the sobs... 02/9 – Came to a final decision after thinking about my situation for whole night that I'm giving up as no point staying in a place where u know the people is so 嫌弃 u & their biggest wish is wan u to go (on top of tat bad egg who i all along got problem w)...
at first still got a bit moved by boss after talking to him... of cause he is surprised when know wat has been happening to me la... but wat can he do?? Bo bian liao le… he gave me lot of encouragement's & actually walk out of the room saying loud loud tat ‘我是不会收你的信的’.. hahaa... find this act so warm & cute... but in the end 没用de me still decided to continue w my decision after 2 wars w application people happening within tat short 0.5 day... 其实回想这一切都因自己没有用哪能怪谁与谁呢~_~--------------------------------------------------------
The short short 1-2 torturing weeks seem so long for me... 心情jit tao is跌到谷底 tat kind... this is the first time I feel so hurt & left a company when I’m totally not ready to do so, I is still lub the place one... but damn helpless... my only 安慰 during this down period is only 小师兄 whom is always behind me to give me helps, advises & supports... feel so guilty when all his effort wasted with my letter throwing =(
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