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Friday, December 23, 2005

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Think is due to that invisible 乌云 still have not leave me lor.. this year's christmas party not tat merry for me. Think I need to learnt to be more self-fish and stop helping people when only open their mouth to order me around then take me for granted. Felt I'm being forced to carrying a 黑锅 and need to 哑巴吃黄莲.

First wanna say sorry if U happens to be at this site through any method & know U R the one I'm going to complaint. I'm very 小气 de and I need to 发泄.

I'm just follow instruction of wat U wish to order then Y blame me for not ordering enough? When boss is complaining, Y U never even express that U actually know wat is going to be ordered and bear a bit of the blame but simply only express that U also find tat it is not enough?? Still can go around telling other that boot is unhappy with me for not ordering enough!!

I'm really ANGRY & unhappy!!

By right, I can simply sit back & relax like the rest one. Y spoilt my own mode? Maybe U can blame me for letting tat 4 temp staff to join us... How to reject if other already open their mouth and ask if they can join us? Find the main cause is that 8 comfort people who came to join us last minute. Blame me for not knowing how to estimate bah, never thought of incressing the quantity when knowing they joining..

U leh? U ever though about it ma? U R the organiser & can say U R busy enough, but I'm just not used to do hosting de. At least, share the good & bad together, I'll feel more balanced.

Haizz.. anyway, this party is really a boring and unhappy one for me.

Now, change topic to something happy. Is the 战利品s I got this year.

Prepared and gave out a total of 15 gifts and got back 10/11 ba (known from pei pei that she passed gift to DK but he haven give me yet). Among those I got on hand, got myself a 排行榜 of who's won my heart the most. 1st goes to DBA's 香喷喷 burner set with super nice Lily smell; U really know wat I like. 2nd goes to mushroom & gy with the pretty forever friend gift box/pretty butterfly bookmark; love it. 3rd is the wooden 口哨 from beemuu; very unique & sound crispy. (both beemuu & DBA came to ah huat to meet us & we chat for > 1.5 hours. this session is sure nicer then that stupid party lor)

Oh ya, got something from HC. Think she only give me nia wo. At first very happy as I seem to mean something to her. Now donno lo? it is a notepad with a bookmark. Actually it is ok de & I'll still feel happy as is the thought that count; but is the wording on them that make me wounder if she try to sent any message to me or simply harmless:

Bookmark - "U never know how much U can do until U try",

Notepad - "U can do it... If U put your mind to it."

I lost my 判断能力 le. If she meant wat she gave, it means I really score low in her heart & she want me to work real hearder.. Actually can also decoded as she trying to motivate me de... don dare to think about it le. scary..

Feel tat I need some happy happy events to 冲喜。冲喜。 I need more happyness else will lost my original self de..

Bee scribbled @ 9:41 PM

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